Standing Room Only on this flight!

Those photographs in travel magazines and anywhere else were flights are advertised make me furious!The adverts generally show some very relaxed passengers fast asleep in what looks like a nearly horizontal silk-covered bed! The advert also clearly depicts enough leg room for a New Yorker basket ball team player to feel comfortable and there never seems to be another seat in view!

Excuse me a moment am I travelling in the wrong direction?

A recent flight that I joined was one of Quanta's Airlines and a few days earlier I had seen an advert of this young stewardess serving champagne to a smiling man! This gentleman was stretched out comfortably in his look-a-like three foot wide chair and he had a metal knife and fork in his hand as he ate his meal - one that looked weird until I noticed that his meal did not come with a tray! There were no passengers in the seat next to him (in fact there was no seat next to him), three stewardesses seemed to be hovering around to cater to his every need and the space under the seat in front of him was empty (I don't know where he had put his shoes).

So I was quite looking forward to my flight!

When I got on board I was abruptly herded to my stock by a steward who must have missed those all-important classes about "how to be polite to the passengers"! I wedged myself into my seat, one that somehow seemed smaller than the last time I flew with Quanta's and cursed the fact that the passengers on either side had gotten to the armrests first whilst I was struggling to re-affix the tray table in the upright position with a catch that refused to work! Through contortions that would have made a snake proud I managed to get my shoes off, only to find out that the space underneath the seat in front had one of those metal box that reduces the space by half! My shoes or one foot???

Anyway, you get the gist .... oh, before I forget; metal knives and forks are not really practical these days as they make extremely good weapons and meals never come without trays! My meal arrived on this flight with a plastic fork that snapped whilst trying to cut an omelette and by the way that advertising cliche about the seats that recline, don't believe it! They merely move back 3cm to another uncomfortable position.

Well, must go and put the potatoes in the oven!

But before I go, I read an article recently about domestic flights in the US. As we all know American Airlines have been suffering from a serious lack of profit, partially due to directors and staff having ripped off the companies for the last decades and also due to years of total inefficiency! One way to increase profitability is to carry more passengers per flight and having reduced airline seats to a size that hardly anybody can fit into they can no longer ask much more on that score.

Or can they?

This article suggested that airline manufacturers (and it wasn't Airbus in this instance) have been seriously looking into fitting-out their aircraft for passengers who will stand for the entire flight! Instead of chairs will be stalls, a sort of frame that a passenger leans back against to strap themselves in and in this way an airplane could carry 30-40% more payload! If this is the case the United States Government is socially deficient; it is in-humane to the extreme!

If I have to stand for 30 minutes on a bus I am ready to blow my top! Remember all those flights that get delayed whilst taxiing to the run way! "Ladies and Gentleman due to a riot on an incoming aircraft we will have to wait two hours before we can take-off. Just stand back and ..well ...erm, relax!!!"

Na, bring back the Led Zeppelin! Three hours, standing room only or three days with a great view, own cabin and if the engines fail a gentle drift downwards! Yep, I know what I'll choose.

How long does it take to bake a potato?

Ieuan Dolby at Seadolby.com