In Transit at Seoul Incheon International Airport

As airports go; as hotel rooms go until you step outside to the world beyond they are all the same! Practical, sterile and uniform with endless lanes and corridors to drag luggage along; years of scientific research into seats that look nice but are still uncomfortable, duty free shops that vary little from JFK to Shanghai and ladies in tight skirts and tops who show smiles but sliently curse anybody who approaches them. Nice wooden floor though, I might even consider the design for my house! Lots of glass, a fountain or two and a couple of potted plants to give scenic effect for nobody to notice; a characterless building that does what it is designed to, that of shunting passengers from A to B in an orderly fashion and to empty their pockets as far as possible with supposed duty free goods that they don't need, require or really want!

Some say that the International Airport in Kuala Lumpur is excellent; Singapore Airport has been voted the best airport in the world year after year and that London Heathrow is efficiency in progress. I see KL as resembling a hospital ward with its overly whitewashed walls, Singapore Changi Airport as a potential addition to the national grid; the new carpets that have been fitted in both departure lounges cause static to build up on the handles of the trolleys! I keep on getting those sharp electric shocks as I waste time walking around! London Heathrow is just a megalith of pain where even the short skirt and shirted girls don't bother to smile anymore (if they ever did)!

And Incheon International Aiport in Seoul? Hmmm; nice floors!

I tried to sleep on the overnight flight from Singapore to Seoul but my neighbouring passengers all sufferred from serious noise disturbance disease! The young Korean chap who sat next to me was either on his way to see a girl who had after ten years of refusal professed her dying love for him or he had just overdosed on magic mushrooms! These televisions are great inventions, the ones stuck in the seat infront, as they allows passengers like me to put the ear phones on thus pulling down the shutters of the personal privacy space, the ideal do not disturb sign! My fellow passenger though had other ideas regarding his television and for most of the flight tapped vigourously on the screen as he worked his way through every film, game and show available on varying speeds! The tapping was like the water drip torture process - annoying and persistent but not regular!

He initially occupied the arm rest between us; an annoyance that I solved early on by simply pushing it off, apologising for my rudeness but not correcting the situation. He also had this annoying habit of trying to please me by helping to pass items like earphones, face cloth and drinks from the stewardess to me. I was though only one seat away and in fine reach so the events became a series of akward arm movements and 'thankyou's' that were so pointless and painful to utter!

I had to laugh though as we worked our way through dinner! I chose the western offering rather than the Korean one as it seemed the safer path to follow! He also chose Western and from that point on proved quite capably that his extent of western knowledge stopped there! Just little things like eating the main course with a teaspoon and the dessert with a knife and fork had me grinning from ear to ear! I especially liked the interesting concotion of the desserts sauce spread on his bread roll with butter and a spot of Red Pepper Paste to finish the treat! This reminded me of the Tuvuluan lunch offering of corned beef mixed with spoonfuls of jam - something that the high school kids got slapped onto their tray as main course everyday with a few cabin biscuits for roughage; I avoided this by cooking my own meals.

Och well; this six hour flight passed by in cramped fashion as flights do and I suppose that without these humorous interludes I would be bored out of my mind. I now have to find a payphone, something that I have not used for at least six years and work out how to use it. I just want to tell my wife that I am safe on the ground (a habit formed of insecurity) but the Korean mobile phone system is different from most of the rest of the world! I'll have to read the instructions on how to use the bally thing, after finding some coins to fit in it!

God, what a drizzly day outside!