A freezing flight from Newark to Savannah

On a recent Continental Airlines flight from Newark to Savannah.....

They got all the gates wrong so it was 'snakes and ladders' shuttle buses everywhere before we ended up back at square one. Granny, the dear old flight attendant kept us amused after apologizing profusely for the airport staff mixing up left and right! They seemingly often use one boarding ramp for two planes, in this case "L" side were going to Indianapolis and the "R" side to Savannah.

We were told to board on the left side and ended up boarding the wrong plane!

Joe the large man sitting half in my seat and testing the windows strength every time he breathed suddenly decided that he had left his mobile phone in the departure lounge. He jumped up in a rush, hitting his head on the locker above and after trampling on my toes and nearly suffocating me he proceeded to occupy the pilots who were trying to get the plane ready for departure. Lucky we were not in the air as his sudden movements would have had the plane banking sharply to port.

The pilots, bless their soles, took this unexpected situation on the chin and proceeded to follow his instructions in offloading his baggage - he refused to fly without his mobile phone as it seemingly contained all his work, his life and I think every telephone number of fast food joints around the world.

Anyway, we set off late and joined a queue of 20 other aircraft waiting to use the runway. Whilst relishing in having a whole seat to myself and aimlessly staring out of the window I happened to look down and there, nestling in the enormous depression made from a recent heavy weight, was a mobile phone. I couldn't help but picture him staggering and sweating his way around the airport trying to find his life - not a pretty picture but then I couldn't help but see the funny side of it all. The pilots found it extremely funny too, I could here them chuckling away through the door after the granny, the flight attendant, had passed them the message.

Eventually we got away and then the air-conditioning unit broke down. I'm not sure how this works as usually when something breaks down it stops but it broke down in full swing and remained pumping out freezing air for the whole two hours of the flight. I had snow fluttering down onto my knees. Granny told us over the PA that rows 18-20 were building a snowman and that water could not be served as it had frozen over. Beleive me, it was cold - although perhaps after 20 PA announcements in quick order she felt herself on the brink of a new career. Even with a t-shirt, a sweat shit and a fleece on I was still shivering. I could see the girl in front of me shivering as well, but I'm sorry, chivalry was not on the agenda that day.

We eventually managed to get off the plane in Savannah, one hour late. Just as I was leaving the plane granny told me that she had received a call on the man's phone. Dispensing with pleasantries he had rushed straight into accusations of theft and criminal proceedings but when told where his phone was the line went dead!

At least he didn't have to suffer a freezing flight although had he been there I might have been warmer!